In John McCain's concession, he revealed more class than was ever shown during the campaign. He was accused (falsely) of negative attacks and general ineptitude.
Obama, you didn't win. The media, your campaign's brainwashing blitz, the "hoopla": that won: you didn't.
Ladies & Gents: the 1st purchased Presidency in our great country's history.

McCain won this election: He didn't win the Presidency, but he proved himself the far better, and classier, man. Sorry, Ms. Coulter, McCain is a leader among us Conservatives.

I recently purchased one of those cool-looking Rasta hats, with a Charlie-Brown-shirt-style jagged red, yellow, and green pattern, to cover my voluminous hairstyle and protect my head from the summer chill. During the initial trial wear, however, I encountered a problem: My hair is very, very short, not voluminous, so I had some trouble filling my new hair hammock out. When I donned it, my head was warmer, but it just looked like I was balancing a leaky beanbag on my head, and the aesthetic was horrendous.

I’ve tried several solutions. I’ve tried growing my hair, but I’ve not the time for that crap. I settled upon the idea of stuffing:
My first attempt was to fill it with empty beer cans, but that made me look kinda like Lisa Simpson.
I then tried crepe paper, but that infernal crinkling sound made conversation impossible.
I thought myself a genius when I settled on wool; then, a humid day came, and the wool went all gimpy on me - the hat deflated, the wool cascaded about my shoulders, and I looked like a fat Johnny Winter.

Can anyone please help me? I really need to wear my head sweater; I went without it last week, when the temperature only reached 90 degF - my head must have been at a frigid 87. Any advice would be tremendously appreciated, especially with bleak August quickly approaching